Saturday evening.

Spent the evening feeling sad for no apparent reason. Perhaps mourning the loss of the relationship I really wanted, perhaps mourning the things that are yet to come.

Either way it was eye opening and I think I will try to appreciate things more now, and use my time better. If I can. Sometimes I feel so hopeless that I wonder what it is that keeps me going.

It's hard to explain what it's like sometimes, being sad. Sometimes I'm sad for no reason, and beat myself up about it because no one is sad for no reason. That's just stupid. Sometimes I am sad for something silly, like I have to clean up again.

Or I remember what it's like to be a failure.